Step aside, Gwyneth Paltrow! Holy Moly has a new favourite overindulgent interview soundbite giver, and that gift that keeps on giving is Alexa Chung, whose Into The Gloss interview from yesterday has us shaking our head and asking if it's the worst interview she's ever given...
It is, we are not even kidding, really really long, and criminally boring, so here are the best bits:
On How Alexa Chung Is Actually A Journalist
"I consider myself mostly a journalist because I write interviews for a living."
We're gonna go out on a limb and say Alexa Chung is probably the only person who considers Alexa Chung a journalist.
On How Alexa Chung Basically Invented The Felt Tip Pen Eyeliner
"It's funny, the makeup brand Eyeko approached me to collaborate, and we had a meeting and talked ideas and they asked if I wanted to help develop some products. It really made sense.
"So, it started with just the Skinny Liquid Eyeliner, which is a pen. I really love it—before I was using a brush and pot, but it’s so much to take with you, and you’re always getting your bag dirty with the brush, and you have to clean it every time; it’s a nightmare.
"The pens are much better."
Yes, that pot and brush is such a ballache, isn't it? If only many other easily available brands had been selling excellent felt tip pen eyeliners for actual years! Thanks for saving the world from this drudgery, Alexa Chung!
On All Men Having The Same Preferences
"I used to have a bob, and then one day I just realized like, 'OK, the jig is up—boys just like long hair.' I hate to generalize, but they do!"
This is bullshit, Alexa Chung.
On Nicking Shit From Hotels Even Though You're Definitely Not Supposed To
"One time, at the Ritz Paris I took their entire bath set. I was like, ‘I’ll take a bathrobe, a bath mat, some of these pink towels—all of it.’"
Jesus, Alexa Chung. Just go to fucking John Lewis if you need new towels.
On Her Moisturiser Situation
"We are having a crisis, a full-on crisis."
Sounds terrible, Alexa Chung.
On Being An Actual Idiot
"I always write ‘Magic Potion’ on my perfume bottles so when I use them it feels magical—I make spells in the morning when I put them on."
Alexa Chung, you are a grown-ass woman. This is some seriously juvenile bullshit. Sort it out.
There's more at Into The Gloss. You can read about how Alexa Chung feels about astrology, how Alexa Chung feels about baths, and how the telly-watching public used to feel about Alexa Chung's fashion sense. Truly, something for everyone.
But is Alexa Chung shagging Chris Martin? Apparently not.
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